All my best friends are Goyim!

Andrew got me these cool Chanukah Puppets.. Made in CHINA,of course. So as Stan would say its CHANukah.

Anyway, I have 4 puppets, a video camera and a shitload of free time. Look for Movies soon, I just need character names.

We have A Dreidel, A Menorah, A Candle and a piece of Gelt. Now the Candle should probably be named "Shammosh" but the other 3, thats up to you!

Target is weird, but not from Maine or New Hampshire...

I have to admit I LOVE it here. Maine is beautiful. But being from NY and NJ I have to mock it a bit. Recently I went to develop some film. They didn't have a one hour photo lab at the Target in South Portland. They USED TO have one, but it didn't do enough business. This is most likely because people in Maine aren't in such a rush as us Mid-Atlantic types.

Anyway, I asked where I could use my Target 1 hr photo club card, because my next roll is free. Nearest Targets are Portsmouth, NH or Bangor, ME. Either 1 or 2 hours away. GREAT!

Anyway, this isn't really weird, right? You are thinking "Chuck, you are really starting to stretch the definition of weird, thats just inconveniant."

WEIRD thing is when you get a TARGET GIFT CARD, they give you...a GIFT RECEIPT!!!! That way if the person doesn't like the gift card, they can you know, get like a store credit where they can use the money to buy something they like at Target. WTF?

Maine Snowmen

Scary! The top scholars in Maine have been working around the clock on this their magnum opus, They have genetically engineered their snowmen to have Lobster Claws. Unfortunately the meat just tastes like water and has the texture of slush. They are still working on it.

Disney Vault

So Joann wants the Little Mermaid on DVD.

But the Disney Corporation has this odd production schedule which includes putting videos in "The Disney Vault" only to re-release another special edition 5 years later.

I'm not sure what their scheme is, but all this does is encourage her to become enraged at Disney.

Oh well, I guess I am stuck getting her the next best thing...


Ahh... that John Candy, such a versatile actor.

New Hampshire is weird...

Ok, so have you ever seen a NH license plate? The state motto is "Live Free Or Die." Who has to stamp that motto onto the license plate? People in prison. That just goes to show you how weird New Hampshire is. So this shouldn't surprise you. There are no liquor stores as we know them, in New Hampshire. There are no buy-rites or spirits unlimited or the like. No mom and pop shops either. You can buy beer in the supermarket, but liquor and wine is purchased in HUGE, STATE OWNED liquor stores.

http://www.nh.gov/liquor/stores.shtml

The irony here is that these ENORMOUS LIQUOR STORES are mostly located off of INTERSTATE HIGHWAYS...Please don't drink and drive.

Always the Best Man, Never The Man?

Its time for me to get another ridiculously small tux. Ok, not ridiculously small, but pretty hard to fit.

35R 16 arm length
Pants 28 waist 40 outseam
Shirt: 14 1/2 Neck and 33 length

Why?



I got my invitation today! I was so excited. Been waiting for this envelope for a long time. Stan and Andria (see CJ's pics) are getting Married Jan 15. Look how beautiful the invitations were.


Here is the outside of the invitation.


And here is the inside...bi-lingual. Nice touch, don't you think. Although the pink is a bit much, Stan.

So pretty soon there will be pics of me standing next to Stan at the altar like the ones here of me and Andrew. A shame Stan's middle name doesn't start with a J.

Pics From Portland

This is the southern part of the penninsula that makes up the city's downtown. In the photo, you can see that I shot it near the runway at the airport. What petter place to get an unobstructed view! Anyway...the big building there is Maine Medical, where on September 21, 1947 Stephen King was born.


This is a tree in my backyard, coverd in a glaze from Dec 6th's ice storm.


Even in Portland, in the ice, in a confined space...people love donuts!

Portlands X-mas Tree

This is Monument Square in Portland. Another example of how weird Maine is...its really triangle shaped. Anyway. The monument is to Maine's war dead. Interestingly enough, in the civil war, there was a confederate raid here. Portland was a very important port too, 6th busiest in the nation and a rail line that fed Canada supplies when the St. Lawrence froze.

The tree was lit up Thanksgiving weekend. I took these shots on Tues, Dec 7. As the sun was setting. (4pm) It was a beautiful sunset and the snow that fell the day before was melting away, I just wanted to capture it.


They call the time when the sun sets and you start getting ambient light from the street, "the magic hour." You can tell why from the pics!


This is Monument Square...told yuh its a triangle. (View from Space)

Grand Theft Idiots

So, about the only game I play on x-box right now is Grand Theft Auto. It's been a good month or two since anything else was in the console. It's a horribly violent game that is suitable for adults, and nobody else.

Ken asked me if I thought he should let his kids play it... to which I responded "Well, if picking up a prostitute, paying her for her services, killing her for your money back, then killing a cop is your idea of a good game for a kid, go nuts."

Last I checked, his kids are still asking.

So when I saw this article, it made me think one thing: What grandma is letting her grandchildren play GTA?

And viola. This is exactly why we need ratings.

But the shame is, the parents that won't spend the time to figure out if the game is appropriate won’t bother to look at a rating either!



On a side note, Peggy thinks the main character in GTA looks like me -- what do you think?

Dick's

Everywhere has their own burger joint.

So when Pop and I visited Seattle last year, we were told that we had to stop by Dick's. It was the burger joint, with the "best fries anywhere". We spent a good hour trying to find this place:




And I was not impressed at all.

What's your favorite burger joint?

Christmas Tree

We picked up our Christmas Tree this weekend. In my case, literally.




Here it is decorated.

Christmas always makes me wonder what Jewish friends are up to....

mmmm Cakes

Mom always throws a great holiday party with food throughout the night -- but this year, the guests got smart.

They didn't dig into the several different kinds of bree. Even the main course only got picked at.... that's right, people remember:

Save it for dessert!

Movie Themes

So, I got gift certificates for some movies, and I'm a sucker for themes. So I ordered two movies about war:

Fahrenheit 9/11, which I highly recommend.




and Stripes, another great war movie.



I was tempted to order Ghostbusters, but it didn't fit the theme. I need to figure out more movies with giant marshmallow men so I can get that.

The Club

So, after really long hours, David and I sometimes talk about what we are going to do A:E (After Edison).

Lately, I've been watching this show on Spike TV about club operations in Las Vegas.




The entire time, I'm thinking David, Chuck and I could easily run a better club - and David doesn't know anything about drinking. It was like a bunch of guys hanging out and there happens to be a club that sometimes gets people to visit.

On this week's episode, it turns out we were right: the owner of the club finally decided to toss everyone because they had no idea what they were doing running a club.

Although I'm upset that perhaps we couldn't run a club.... they did introduce the IT people. We would fit right in out there.

Oh My God, What Have I Done!

In my perpetual quest to torture myself about the weather...I found a very useful resource through the national weather service and NOAA. This is a link to a text file that shows the highs, lows, averages and even wind speeds and snowfall info for Portland. This link is specific for January of 2004. Figured I'd see what I was in for!

http://www.erh.noaa.gov/er/gyx/climo/pwm-jan04-f6.txt

Then I found that in the past 53 years, here were the RECORD lows in Portland for the month.

Jan -26
Feb -39
Mar -21
Apr 8
May 23
Jun 33
Jul 40
Aug 33
Sep 23
Oct 15
Nov 3
Dec -21

The lowest recorded temp in Portland was -39! -39! WTF!!!!

Lets compare this data to Newark, NJ...

Jan -8
Feb -7
Mar 6
Apr 16
May 33
Jun 43
Jul 52
Aug 45
Sep 35
Oct 28
Nov 15
Dec -1

The coldest EVER was -8! Ugh!

AND IF THAT REALLY DOESN'T GET YOU!!! THE LOWEST RECORDED TEMPERATURE IN:

VALDEZ, AK -20
KODIAK, AK -16
SAULT STE. MARIE, MI -36 (all the way up on Michigan's Upper Penn.)
MINNEAPOLIS-ST.PAUL, MN -34
SEATTLE, WA 0
GREEN BAY, WI -31
CHEYENNE, WY -34
BURLINGTON, VT -30


All of these lows, though some come close are still WARMER than the record in Portland, ME!

Please send blankets, space heaters, lock and winshield de-icer...anything you got!

Hunting Aurora

My current quest is to see the Northern lights first hand. So first things first, gotta check out solar flare activity...

Here is a weather forecast of sorts for space!

This site is good too.

Then I gotta find a place with little or no artificial light, but I live in fucking Maine, so thats like trying to find an area with a criminal element in Asbury park or Newark.

I'll keep you posted! But if you have any tips or have seen it, please e-mail me at needmoreritalin@aol.com.

NYC

Took David into NYC (yes, his first time). We did a walking tour of the City that included Macy's, Lord and Taylor, all 3 "major" tv networks, and more. Of course, it included some NYC Pizza (sorry Chuck).


Ice Skating in Rockefeller Center - David did not want to try skating out, which could have made a very long, interesting blog in itself.


St. Patrick's Cathedral -- Mass stopped us from going up front.


Pop at F.A.O. Schwartz -- he had one of these when he was a kid.


Central Park Rowboats -- Lots of walking to do some rowing.


Times Square


David's Purchase -- He's like a walking commercial, isn't it?

94,000

No, that's not the number of miles Peg has on her car (yet, she does add a few commuting to school). That's how much money four townships in New Jersey are spending for a web site.

That's according to The Home News Tribune.

All I know is if I had a grant for $ 94,000, I could put a web site site up, and still have enough to buy myself a BMW 645ci (although I admit I may have to get the base model).

I don't know how residents can let this happen -- this is a huge waste of my tax dollars! For goodness sake, I could open up a yahoo store for the recreation department and be way ahead of the game.

Hrm, maybe I should email Piscataway, and they can get me a BMW.

Portland International Jetport

I live right next to the airport...I'm on the corner of Powers and Deveraux and as you can see in the pic, there is a small tree line that seperates my house from the Tarmac.



So I see aiplanes taking off and landing all the time. Why live so close to the airport? Well after growing up in NY and moving to NJ I had to sleep with the TV on for a while because I needed the noise. So now that I am here I needed some extra noise...there are no sirens or gun shots or anything. Of course my neighbor has a 2 year old who likes to stomp, but that just provides me with noise when I don't need it.

Anyway...I found some cool websites so I can track the flights...so after I see a plane take off, I can look it up and watch its progress online. Its a shame I can't remotely fly the bad boy ;)

Incidentally, the Sept 11 attacks actually originated here, from what I understand that scumbag Attah came into the US through this airport, a mere 90 minute drive from Logan.