Maine's Maine Weatherman...

Ok, Portland's big weather guy is TOM CHISHOLM. Its pronouced Chis-um...but when they introduce the forecast it sounds a little dirty.

I just fear the forecast tonight because we are in for a huge snow...it'll go something like this.

And now in the Channel 8 weather center here is Tom Jizm with the forecast.

Well, we're in for a huge load of the white stuff this evening and with temperatures this warm its likely to be wet and sticky...and the winds are gusting to 45 MPH its likely to sting when it hits you in the face.

Its no better if you go to channel 6...I think they have Bob Spooger doing weather...

Anyway, Tom is a cool guy. I asked him to end a forecast with "and thats the forecast, but lets see what the Magic 8-Ball has to say..."

Does that EVER work? Even in Maine...

We had a company office party last week. One of the sales guys I work with was sitting next to me in the restaurant and eyed the waitress. "She's really cute man..." he said to me.

I told him (mistakenly?) that her name is Mariah. With this new piece of infor he walks up to her with his drink. I tried to get her attention, but failed. They talk briefly. She laughs...he laughs in agreement and walks away.

"Shot down..." he says.

I ask what he said to her.

"There is a problem with my drink...it didn't have any NUMBERS IN IT"

WTF!!!! That is SO WEAK!

I went up to her later and told her I was trying to get her attention when he approached her. She asked what I was trying to tell her and I said..."I was mouthing the word RUN!"

Anyway, I've heard some bad pick-up lines, but that takes the cake.

Incidentally, when I resort to a line I always say "I know you'll find this hard to believe, but...I put the seat down when I am finished." Never fails ;)

Wicks

We are training some people to do Traffic for our radio stations. We use a program called "Visual Traffic" by a company called Wicks.

I told them I was scared at first when I heard the people from Wicks were coming. They aske dme why and I told them...

"I was worried you were going to cut off my free supply of milk"

Apparently they never heard of WIC.

Legislation to help me eat

I know I have some extra pounds. I pay attention, and I try to order better things on the menu. Chicken instead of red meat, grilled instead of fried, unsweetened iced tea instead of coke.

So I know it's hard it is to make those choices when you are out eating. By talking to some of my friends, I know it's even harder for some other people then it is for me.

But, I'm sort of on the fence over this.

On one hand, the more information I have, the better decisions I can make. On the other, when I eat a double quarter pounder with cheese or 20 mc-nuggets, I know it's not a wise choice.

I'm just not a fan of over-legislation.

For the Ladies...

For the ladies in the audience....

According to someone named Michelle, "Thanks to anti-panti, no one ever has to see my underwear again!"



Next, the Scratch N' Sniff undie. Comes in three flavors -- Cedar, Grass, and BBQ. Wonder when they will come out with the one guys really want Beer.

Alive?

Another news story.

Sure, they found the "Alive" Crash Survivor's wallet, but we already knew who he was!

32 years later, woudln't we really want thier cookbook?

Jewelry?

For years, I've read news online. It helps me read all the news that is fit to print, and everything that nobody wants printed. So I'm reading an article put out by Reuters

So, help me out on this one. What is a genital bracelet?

When I google imaged searched this, I only got:
,
so I don't want to search any more on it.

If any of you know, post it anonymously. I'm not sure we want to know you have one.

Finally a DIET you can Live with!

I have some theories about dieting. Mostly built on something we experience shortly after our college days. Remember when you were young and could get a buzz off one beer or glass of wine? Then when you wer e25 it took 4 or 5 beers (maybe more) and 3 glasses of wine. Why is this? Because your body develops a tolerance.

Similarly, when the weather turns cold we get flu shots. (except when English Pharma Firms fuck up) Why? Well...they inject us with the flu and our body develops anti-bodies to help us build up a resistance!

SO! In theory, the more saturated fat and cholesterol in your diet, the more your body will develop a TOLERANCE or a RESISTANCE to it, and then you'll be skinny like me...and actually enjoy what you eat!

NOW... CHECK OUT MY COMMERCIAL FOR IT!

Go New Jersey!

Did you know, there are no late fees at Blockbuster anymore?

That's right! But after 8 days, you've bought it! Overdue rentals are now converted to sales.

Thanks to our State Attorney General, a lawsuit has been filed charging that Blockbuster failed to disclose the terms in the policy.



Thank goodness, because I sure as heck couldn't figure out how this worked.

Found in Boston

I hate when I loose shipments, don't you? Halliburton finds missing radioactive material.

Chicken Chaser

So since David took back GTA, Peg has been playing Fable. It's a pretty good RPG, which nice graphics and an easy play controls.

Things in the game (including reaction from NPC's) change based on how good or evil you are. It's interesting. So far, Peg has been good.





They call her "Chicken Chaser" It's up to you if you want to do the same.

The Pope

So Pope John Paul II was released from the hospital yesterday.

I bet when he saw the hospital bill, he felt like an altar boy.

Yikes!

usbPEZ

You know, back before the Internet, you'd never know someone had this kind of spare time

I can be serious sometimes...

I can even be deep. It is said that the Eskimos have over a thousand words for snow. Snow is such a predominant part of Eskimo life that they have so many ways to describe its textures, colors, and other characteristics.

We as a society have an infinite way to describe having sex with someone. Making Love, Fucking, Screwing, Humping...you get the picture. We can come up with an endless number of metaphors or euphemisms for it too. Even everyday phrases said with a wink or a bit of sarcasm can insinuate sex.

So why is it that there is only one way to say "I Love You?" Does this imply that sex is more a part of our everyday lives than love is, or that it is more important?

So horrible, I had to share it...

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. There is no shortage of filament. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?