Chuck Norris

Top Chuck Norris Facts

• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
  
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  
• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  
• The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  
• If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
  
• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
  
• Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  
• If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  
• When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
  

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